Maximillian Laumeister
Illustration of Miku the bird-fox shouting through a megaphone while flying in the sky

Overwatch Should Have Balance Patches Every 60 Seconds

A few years ago I was playing Overwatch, and someone had set up a custom server where they had randomly changed the stats of all the weapons and abilities. Some weapons/abilities were much weaker, some much stronger, and some were super overpowered to the point of being ridiculous.

The flow of the game went like this:

It was absolute bedlam in these matches, as players were cycling through all the heroes every few minutes trying to search for buffed weapons. Then, when someone found a really OP strategy, everyone would catch on and exploit it themselves until it got nerfed by the server owner. It made for some of the most memorable Overwatch matches I’ve ever played.

And here’s the thing - it could all be automated as a game mode, given enough control over the game code. The server could automatically randomize weapons’ stats, then when the weapon is being used too much that match, nerf it and buff a weapon that’s rarely used. Maybe that’s too complex for Overwatch’s user-scripting system (though maybe not, honestly) - but it could make for a neat indie game concept.

It would also make a great mod for Unreal Tournament, and perhaps even Team Fortress 2.

So when I say “Overwatch Should Have Balance Patches Every 60 Seconds”, I’m mostly joking, but also kind of not. It would make for a really entertaining casual game mode.

Someone get on it. It’s too fun to have an FPS game with weapon stats that mysteriously change around all the time.